Integrity to others vs. Integrity to Self

There's a ruthlessness in the choices I make. Up until recently, I haven't felt particularly negative about the life choices I've made: separating from the U.S. government, moving in with my mom, working part time for a reduced salary, and making it known I prioritize situations where I have an avenue to the mountains. Until recently. I gave someone my word and then I broke it. Circumstances changed between when I gave my word and when I decided I had to break my word. It was a choice between keeping my word, which I value as a part of what I believe is a characteristic I have: deep integrity, and another conflicting characteristic I have, which is commitment to my true self. So my true self is someone who will break her promise to ensure a way to make it easier to get into the mountains. Integrity ranks lower in my personality scale than being unfettered and uncommitted to convention. Sounds paradoxical and hypocritical right? Commitment to myself and my desired lifestyle over commitment to integrity and trust.

I wrote the above post three months ago. The funny thing about this life, is I'm eating my words. I've committed now to moving out, reducing my expendable income. I'm okay with that. Two months ago I summitted a mountain where the uncertainty of even going to the top were paramount on just the last 140 feet of the summit's ridge. I was stoked - it meant the higher peaks of the Himalayas were a possibility. And if I could fit the pieces of training, income, interesting work for income, experience, and partnerships - none mutually exclusive - that goal was attainable - and with patience - maybe in even a couple years.

2012 Notes from the Films

So I'm back with my annual Filmfest DC review.  I saw eleven this year and the best part is I achieved it all seeing it with friends and family, old and new and young ;). 

The Sandman - I thought this was one of the best films, precluding that I didn't see 5 Broken Cameras or Monsieur Lazahar which also got top faves from the audience.  I'm into nihilistic dream-sequence dramas with an actual story line and good acting while taking place in an absurd fantastical almost real setting, kind of like one of my faves, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 

Abu, Son of Adam - I like this film because it kind of reminds me of my pops.  Except I didn't think it was good enough to warrant a Academy Awards submission.

Facing Mirrors - Five star movie, although the post-text will have you believe the Iranian government is progressive because it allows sex change surgery and will provide loans for the operation.  The story is heart-rending, with some of the finest character acting I've seen anywhere.

Terraferma - Good movie if it hadn't been shown in conjunction with Facing Mirrors or The Sandman.  It was a subtle drama and emotional at once.

Goodbye - This movie trapped you in the theater with thoughts of escape.  It's the point of the whole story (or lack thereof), the purpose of the film is better described through the background of its actual director, his first since being released from Iranian prison.

Crazy Wisdom - really nice glowing documentary on Tibetan lama Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, who brought Eastern Buddhism to the West.

Blood in the Mobile - a Micheal Moore-esque documentary.  Heart-rending video footage shows enough damning evidence as does a corporation's inability to eloquently rebuff questions surrounding its supply chain.  Not as relevant once one does some homework though. 

War of the Arrows - epic historical war drama from the Republic of Korea.  Lots of China bashing and cheering for the good guys.  Feel good film, worth seeing on the silver screen.

Almanya - Welcome to Germany - one of my favorites, tells the story of Turkish immigrants to Germany, its plot of East colliding with West with hilarious results is applicable to immigrants' stories in any Western country.  I laughed, I cried, I'm glad I spent time to watch this movie. 

Cousinhood - crowd favorite, I thought it was in the realm of 'Last Kiss' and 'The Hangover' (read Dude flick).  Certainly shows men's vulnerabilities but the portrayal of women, particularly the supporting actress who plays Martina was so one-sided.  The women's character were essentially caricatures: the Mother, lover, angel Martina, the crazy controlling banshee Tona, and bitchy whore daughter (forget her name), insecure indecisive ex-fiancee.  I had too much trouble suspending my disbelief on the lack of character development in the women to really enjoy the movie.  There's a reason why this director is still single (maybe unrealistic expectations of women?) but I will give him a pass for dealing with the peculiarities of producing reasonable length films. 

The Policeman - a film for those more familiar with traveling in Israel and perhaps the peculiarities of policing and defending that nation.  I liked it because it reminded me of Israel: Eastern Europeans in the Mediterranean.  It might be somewhat prophetic as well.

fiend about film

I'm contemplating going to this year's Banff Film Fest. Only because I can't wait until the legendary homage to the year's best films about mountain culture comes to D.C.'s National Geographic in the late winter/early Spring of NEXT year. But I realize I've been extremely negligent about reviewing films I saw at this year's DC International filmfest. You'll have to pardon me as most of the time I was living out of the trunk of my car and found blogging through a blackberry is a real pain.

Ashes of American Flags: Wilco Live
What a great band and what a great documentary on them! The premise is the D.C.-based director felt bad about the last documentary he produced on Wilco, where Jeff Tweedy appeared to be ... well an asshole. When a Q&A was held after the screening, the audience couldn't satiate their thirst for answers on working with the band. Turns out Wilco really is that good live, and very little sound mixing had to be done for the scenes. Additionally the directors provided some great footage of some historic American music venues, sandwiched between panoramas from the bus as they drove into towns, cities, and through the country-side.

The Blind Sunflowers
Really amazing film. I still feel guilt for leaving the film before the Q&A was finished with the Spanish-speaking director, but alas, it was a school night. Not at all a peppy film like the title might make you think, (focus on the Blind). It centers around a family, internally resistant to the Franco regime, but must contend with the outside world while keeping appearances, knowing some of their loved ones are in a struggle to leave.

The Chaser
The most disturbing film I've seen this year. It's not that you don't know who the killer is, but it's just wondering if the so-called 'good' guys will ever catch up. Graphic displays of gory death, I shudder to even think about it. I'm curious to see how the Korean film industry will go global after this one.

Ciao Bella
Cute, really cute and funny. Flick about horny teenagers but with an international twist. Son of a dentist Persian teen and a Swedish gal heart-broken after a summer fling.

Hasan and Marcos
My Arabic school friends and I got so used to screenings every Friday night at Middlebury, we couldn't resist watching this one. I think the audience took it more seriously than it needed to be taken. Yes it's funny, yes it's over the top. And someone correct me, but I thought the politics were a bit over the top too (as in the religious divide it tries to portray).

Ramchand Pakistani
I really enjoyed this film. Incredibly nuanced with balanced portrayals of the affected family members. It is a bit long as many films from the subcontinent tend to be.

Skin
What an incredible film and one of the more powerful I've seen on the subject of race. And how absurd it is, the notion that humans are different because of the color of their skin. Because it's based on a true story, it resonates more to how brutal members of families can be to one another, and much more humankind.

an idea for our cabbies

In the 3+ years I've lived in this city and taken a cab just so I could avoid losing a precious parking spot on the street, I've heard cab drivers increase the fare by a dollar twice. When confronted by my accusation they're trying to rip me off again, they usually cite high gas prices. Recently D.C. cabbies were considering strikes to protest the decision to go to a fare system. Maybe, if gas prices are such an issue, they should replace their old Marquis and Buicks with a car that guzzles less gas. Like they are doing in N.Y.

since I started it, 'g'

The 'G' (gentrification) word, getting more attention!

Some tidbits, one girl living in the U St. corridor and adapting to the 'life-style' there.

Washington Post article regarding a 12 year old DC resident's thoughts on the issue.

As Maria, Tamika and Monique started thinking about gentrification, they grasped the complexity of the phenomenon. "It's really case by case," Maria said. "It's not always bad and not always good. It really depends on how you look at it."

moratorium

I propose a ban on the use of the word 'gentrification' when describing the displacement of D.C. residents by upper-middle class professionals in certain neighborhoods. Gentrification makes me think of 'landed' gentry ... like before women's and black suffrage, in the initial years of American democracy where only the 'landed gentry' could elect the leaders of our great country. It smacks of elitism, oversimplification of the problem, patronization, and for some reason interjects horrible memories of the L.A. riots inspired by the beating of Rodney King. People who use the word gentrification seem to think of themselves as 'gentry,' and I despise it because it accredits someone who is allegedly well educated some kind of superiority over another human being. So I guess all that education couldn't lead the DC 'gentry' to think critically of how all the resume bullets have inflated themselves to what they despised in Virginia and Maryland (namely self-segregation and homogeneity) and inspired them to move into the real, in-your-face, multi-ethnic, multi-age, myriad of experience, uber-diversified community we know as D.C.

old convention center

DCist beat me to it. Sunday walking home from Chinatown without a thought to how I was going getting into my apartment without keys, I was snapping crappy mobile pix of the new artsy walk way. Too bad my t-mobile pictures subscription expired and I can't send them to myself anymore.

on buildings

When I put the deposit down for my condo, I didn't realize that in the same block were two rehabilitation/homeless shelters. Yesterday I just found out that my building was built over a funeral home! Bad ju-ju!

Otherwise I've noticed a couple articles in WaPo concerning DC buildings. I don't know what the beef is, they are ugly. I wish they would instead stick to preserving buildings, that are well at least aesthetically pleasing to the eye, like this one even though I know its not under threat:

its an election year

For DC Mayor. I'm not sure who the other candidates are but for some reason I'm thinking of this when I read In Shaw: Pews vs. Barstools. I've marginally heard of the debate regarding development along the 9th Street corridor, which I am for. Right now the street is rows of dilapidated homes, boarded up windows, steel barred no-entry signs, and generally a depressing area. With the convention center attracting restaurants in its southern front, its time to work on the northern eastern and western sides.

One woman complains about day care being across from a bar. I ask, why do you have your kids in day care after 6 PM?

"There's nothing new about fights over the location of a bar, gay or otherwise. It happens all the time. But the battle over Be Bar is unfolding in the midst of a wave of gentrification, where race, class and now sexual orientation get thrown into an already simmering pot."

packs of 10 feet tall people

Maybe you're looking for a new way to explore D.C. Or perhaps like myself you've gawked at the packs of people running around on segways. I found the source of the mystery: Look between 14th and 13th on I St. Yes, it's a Segway tour company.

ammunition

Even though it comes from one of my least favorite sources I knew there was a reason Maryland drivers ruined the road experience along the entire mid-Atlantic. I'm not prejudiced against Marylanders just because I'm a Virginia-born, raised, schooled girl ... which I always will be, despite adopting DC residency but here it is, as DCist posts:

The debate now seems to be settled -- Maryland has the worst drivers out there. According to the Washington Times, last month alone Marylanders were responsible for 64 percent of the traffic violations caught on the District's traffic cameras, while D.C. residents accounted for 20 percent, Virginia 9 percent and all other states 7 percent. Of course, we are just kidding that this number may say something about Maryland's drivers. Some of them seem to say exactly the opposite, in fact, claiming that they are being unfairly targeted. A spokesperson for AAA said this of the news
-- "When 65 percent of those citations are from a particular jurisdiction, it creates in the public mind the notion of a carefully crafted commuter tax. Marylanders are at the mercy of the city." Why yes, we here in the District are crafty enough to come up with a plan this ingenious.

district of columbian again

I can no longer claim to be a world traveler, however there will be more journeys. Needless to say I've not kept up my deal with the internets. This blog is almost inactive. But here I post to let you know that it's not. Can I plead and say it's because I've been rediscovering what it means to be a DC resident again?

Sampling from the past week:

Monday night engaging in Dr. Travis Stork ogling via The Bachelor in Paris. Soooo hot. And so glad Moana has made it to the final round.

Tuesday night, hear first hand account of altercation between two condo residents, join fellow neighbor at Flow Yoga, feeling refreshed, shoot the breeze with a hookah at another neighbor's residence

Wednesday night ... another discussion concerning nationalism and identity in the Middle East

Thursday night ... free happy hour at Oya, sponsored by the realtors of The Whitman. DCist sponsored show at DC 9, Olivia Mancini and The Hard Tomorrows.

Friday ... tour of 8th St SE ... Starfish Cafe ... yum; Ellington's neighborhood jazz bar, and Belga Cafe

Saturday ... Climbing at the new EarthTreks in Rockville; Galaxy Hut, followed by seeing Telograph at Iota ... pretty good band, something to watch out for on the radar as an up and coming band. Finally went to Tallulah, wine bar on Washington Ave, had a good glass of a Burgundy and Pinot Noir blend.

So I can say I've been trying to minimize time in front of the computer screen when I can.

as if you cared

Monday I had jury duty! Yay! Well actually I was quite curious about it, this being the first time I had been called. Monday I went down to the DC superior court, thinking to myself this would only take a couple hours at most and then I might have the rest of the day free to do some chores and maybe even catch one of the hundreds of movies I've been dying to see. After waiting in two different queues just to check in for about an hour and a half, I realized those hopes were completely dashed.

During the lunch break I rushed to Kinko's and was suddenly annoyed with America for not having nifty little internet cafes on every street corner, instead I had to move to two different workstation before I found one that would charge my card, had a keyboard that worked, and didn't have suspiciously stained seat cushions. And still I had to endure some leering bearded goat sitting in the station next to mine. There I typed a letter to everyone saying that my evening plans were completely suspended as a result of the arduous process of sitting around for an entire day for jury duty.

I wasn't selected. I can't say I was disappointed either way. On one hand it would have been awesome to witness one of the U.S.'s unique democratic institutions at work, on the other hand, I had much going on at work.

freedom for my lungs

Hell ya! DC voted 12-1 to institute a smoking ban. I am really not crying. Phew, the relief of not smelling like garbage when I get home from a bar or club. Or spending the next day recovering and trying to feel like a normal human being after injesting stale concentrated exhalations of smokers. Not having to face this scenario again: my favorite tuxedo black shirt still crumpled on my closet floor because it costs $4.50 to dry clean it, from my last outing. I know other smokers will cry but NYC has instituted the same ban, and I haven't heard any rumblings about loss of business. And face it, DC has bars unlike VA, although Guarapo's and Eleventh can compete, you can't really find the same stuff in Arlington than you can in DC. Also I'm glad to hear they are seeking exemptions for hookah's, because they don't seem to bother me as much, lack of additives perhaps?

exercise in energy

Thursday morning: climbing at Carderock, knocked out one I've been dying to try, although went a bit off route
Friday night: dancing with the co-workers at Gua-rapo's, closed it down (have been doing that a lot recently--amazing how partying intensifies with the coinciding of school work getting heavier)
Saturday night: pig roast, NC style; followed by Octoberfest party, and nightcapping at a dive bar in Clarendon
Sunday: tasty breakfast at the Original Pancake House, followed by hiking at Big Schloss in GW National Forest, followed by seeing Death Cab for Cutie at 9:30 Club

In case you're wondering, I will be WORKING on Halloween weekend.

outside the beltway

The District of Columbia is a very different place than Columbia, MD, Arlington, VA, Richmond, VA, Los Angelos, CA, or New York City, New York. And its the most interesting thing to hear what people think of DC even though their experience is based on miserable tourist trips with a vehicle (remember METRO, use the METRO outside travelers!!! It's the city's not so well kept secret). I've only heard two positive things about my beautiful dear and lovely city that I call home while talking to other fellow Americans. I heard from them: great culture, arts, museums, theaters, dining, and concerts. And then I hear them speak miserly of the traffic, the people they hate, the beltway bandits, politicians, bureaucrats, lawyers, and again the people they hate.

Thanks for making me feel welcome. And I'm sorry they have such a limited view of what the city has to offer. Surely if they were standing on the wrong side of the escalator at Metro Center and got run over by a stampede of harried commuters, they might've found the lack of apologies intolerable. Surely if they were in traffic and found when they turned their blinker on to merge, it seemed everyone sped up. Perhaps when they were starving, they nearly collapsed waiting in line at the McDonald's, or when they planned a trip to the monuments, they were unhappy to find themselves emptying the contents of their bookbag to the security guards. Well I don't know if any of these things happened to them.

But surely I think they would change their mind if they saw what I saw. Beautiful weekday afternoons hiking along Mather Gorge (or better climbing in Mather Gorge), biking along the Mt Vernon trail (laughing at the traffic), the down-to-earth people chilling at the Red Room (Black Cat), rockin' out at the 9:30 Club, hanging out with our neighbors at the local bar--only a block away, taking a stroll in Dupont on a Sunday morning, reading the paper at Teaism, getting a recommendation for a painter from a Reverend at the Rhode Island Home Depot, admiring fresh vegetables at the farmer's market, seeing a friend unexpectedly while walking around the block, the transexual prostitute who asks me how I'm doing when I step out of my building to go to work at 4:30 AM, and frankly the cure-all to all the city's woes: a gin martini from Zaytinya's exquisite bar (or any of the other notable DC bar). So my DC readers, tell these people who think we're cynics because we have "TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION" on our license plates why they are just as cynical for thinking our lovely built-on-a-swamp city is a crap hole.

le vote

When I was 18, I admit, I was too lazy to register. As the 2000 elections drew nearer, I mailed my voter registration twice and never got a registration card so figured rather than wait hours in line with a slim chance the vote would count (on so many levels), I would continue with my ordinary day.

As I watched election results that fall, I saw an anomaly that lessened my faith in America's elections. A President who lost the popular election but won because of electoral votes (which later turned out to because votes weren't properly accounted for in certain SE states).

In 2004, after switching my residency from VA to DC, I registered and vowed not to let this election slip me by. On a beautiful crisp autumn day I strolled five blocks to my polling station, a charming red brick church and stood in-line. When I got the ballot, I checked off Kerry. That night I went to Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse to watch the election results. What started as an exuberant hopeful celebration, turned into people finishing, ordering, and crying into their beers. Supposedly this last election had a higher voter turn out, and this time the guy got a mandate.

I live in a 'pseudo-state' that voted 91% blue in the last elections, has no voting representatives in Congress (the 'Taxation Without Representation' plates I have on my car were not a choice at the DMV--they are standard), prior to that I lived in Virginia which was traditionally red and has fairly strong and senior members in Congress.

Now tell me about disenchantment.

Roosevelt island memorial. Again. not. very. exciting.

On the Roosevelt Island Bridge looking towards Georgetown. Not. very. exciting.

bike accident log

If anyone cares, today I hit a woman's minivan's side view mirror, veered off and crashed into the curb.

Don't worry mom, I'm okay!!! No somersaults and I was wearing a helmet, although, boy do I have a nasty charlie horse from the pedal slamming into my calf.