and a while

Over a year since I've posted. So far 2010 has been a doozy. I did a lot of things that surprised me and the people who thought they knew me. I had two friends dear to me die young. I quit my job and don't feel an ounce of ambition in the career-sense, just in the how-much-travel-can-I-pack-in for cheap sense. I'm dealing with interesting medical woes as a non-working person, without subsidized health insurance. In about seven months, my savings will run out and I will fall below the poverty line. A lot of this seems super negative, and I don't want this to be read wrong, but there are many things I learned and am continuing to learn this year.

First off, I learned there are no guarantees in life. I think everyone understands that, but very few actually face what it means. When an attack in Afghanistan took out a colleague of mine the day before New Year's Eve and then I lost a friend at age 31 to liver cancer in July, it occurred to me I may actually never have the chance to enjoy that pension and 401K I was diligently working and saving for. In many ways, my work stopped making sense to me, my career. It didn't seem very important to me. What seemed important was being with the people I care about, spending time doing what I love, and being present. Its strange to think this would hit me now, especially after working in countries the past three years on and off where the threat of an imminent attack could easily level the ground I was standing on with me on it. So after running my mouth about how I would quit my job and halt my career, I did. Officially, I haven't been to work since June 5th. July 17th, my resignation became effective.

Second, I learned I gave up some independence for some ... independence. I was no longer on someone's clock and earning money which I wantonly spent on outdoor gear and schemed for my next 2+ consecutive days off to cut loose in weekend warrior fashion. Sure I gained freedoms, but I also had to become more watchful of my spending. I'm still struggling with that. Also, I became dependent on the good will of others when I found myself 'freeloading,' that is crashing in someone's guest room, sofa, etc and eating their food. I certainly found that although I was not working for a salary, I was working to be social and nice. But not that it's been unpleasant, it's actually way more enjoyable than sitting in the office trying not to think of how nice it was outside and wishing I were not in front of a computer. It's given me the lessons on being present and being with people I care about.

I should definitely post the adventures I've had, but between updating Picasa web albums, Facebook, and e-mail/calls to set up the next adventure, I can't promise anything. I'm surprised that blogger has even let my blog sit for this long!