rest and relaxation

Regardless of what I think of this war, tonight I had an experience that put everything in perspective. The kind of perspective that makes me feel like none of the bully pulpit pounding that goes on in Washington DC means anything and the type of perspective that puts razor sharp lines around purpose like a glaring street light. I was surounded by young men and women taking a break from the war up North, emotionally battle scarred, worn, eager and hungry for a friendly face. I overheard their stories, stories of uncommon heroism. A mechanic, not just any mechanic, but an infantry mechanic whose job included cleaning out vehicles that came back from the combat zone, covered in his comrade's blood and bones. Of a young woman who had the bottom half of her face torn away, survived for a day, and then died, leaving behind three young children, none of whom were her own. When I was listening uninvited to the conversation, the heat of tears filled my eyes. This is the closest I've physically gotten to the war in Iraq, and I almost felt selfish for wanting to cry. Maybe I felt they (soldiers) bleed inside in a different way, wondering which one of their friends would make it back to the barracks, or if he would be able to console his wife if he gets back at the end of his tour. Crying felt very selfish then. I would never know the bounds of their sadness and pain. At the same time, maybe I would never feel their happiness to be have a few days respite from battle. They were relieved with joy: to go shopping in an Arab country that had a mall rivalling Tyson's Galleria II, cruise in a dhow in the Gulf, and jump sand dunes in SUV's without being shot at and then have Applebee's for dinner. In a few days they will return to the front lines, the days they slept here without the sounds of mortars and gunfire above them and swam in a clean freshwater pool a hopeful memory; while I fly back to DC, return to my loft condo and have dinner at a trendy restaurant downtown. At the same time I may never know what they actually feel.