therapy

Certainly a blog can serve as one, maybe I'm just particularly teary, especially after seeing Chokher Bali. But the whole film made me question if being a widow is really worse than losing someone to something other than death. The shame and the humiliation from family and the questions, the expectations of your friends, particularly those who are catching up with you after several months, and they ask, "so no chance, not in a couple years?"

UVA did a study on couples ... I saw ads for it on the University Transit System aka, bus system run by disgruntled students who realized UVA's fratty conservative atmosphere did not embrace them too well into its white columned brick neo-classical structures. They asked for couples to be part of a psychological study. Actually they didn't care if the couple were still together ... the interesting part came when the two called it Splitsville. What they discovered was that losing someone to a failed relationship was worse than losing someone to death. With death, they are gone forever, it takes a far leap in spirituality to think you might be reunited with them again ...

In life, it is not so, in life, there's always the chance you'll run into them at a party with your new boyfriend, or worse, you'll see them with someone else (admittedly the former is much better than the latter). In life you'll wonder what you could've done differently, in life you may try to be friends. And then wonder, why was this person my life, and now I can't even bear to see them? In life, you think if that was your last shot, if you would have to settle for something less, or worse, nothing at all.